Why is balance so important in relationships?

You’ve probably experienced being thrown off balance and you grab onto anything within reach to stop you from falling.

This is what it’s like in relationship when you don’t take care of your own  balance. We grab at, clutch and cling to those around us in an attempt to stabilise ourselves. The problem is that everything around us is inclined towards movement (unless it’s dead, in which case it’s probably time to let it go). When we’re depending on someone or something to stabilise us we tend not to appreciate it moving on us.

In the case of a relationship we’ll be compelled to, in some way, influence, control or manipulate another in order to maintain some semblance of stability.
Of course, it’s not going to create long lasting stability. Everything changes and we must perform our own balancing act and in doing so, leave others free to develop their own balancing abilities. Of course it’s hard to let others go sometimes, for example, one’s own children as they head off to forge their own path in life but at this stage you can only hope that you’ve sufficiently modelled how to stand on “one’s own two feet” well enough that they’ve become proficient enough at it by then. The more we cling the more we limit others’ opportunity to grow and learn and practice. 

So if you’ve been sufficiently interested in the subject presented here to read this far you might be wondering in which context I’m using the term “balance”. “Does he mean mental balance, emotional balance, physical balance....?”

Well the amazing thing about balance is that it crosses all these divisions, meaning that physical balance effects emotional balance effects mental balance, etc....and because that’s the case, balance always points back to the centre.

What centre? The centre of your universe. You. Just below your belly button. The expression, “to contemplate your navel” is a bit of a backhanded way to refer to someone who likes to meditate. But in light of what we’ve been talking about but in another light it’s actually not a bad idea. To pose the question in relation to anything, inverted Commers where is my centre in this? Is a very fundamental question in reaching confidence debility insurance within oneself in a changing world where things often move in and unpredictable way

In therapy sessions people commonly experiencing stress and doubt in relation to situations in which they are facing. Sometimes there is an appeal and the client for some advice on the matter. The best advice I can give in any case is to invite encourage the person to find a balance in the face of the challenge course when you can find your balance with something you are not dependent on the outcome the surfer does not need to know how the way the scanner ultimately crash so long as he can maintain centre of balance. So what is the golden nugget, the secret to maintaining one’s balance.? Well I don’t think anyone can answer this question for anyone else but the best I can offer is to say that asking the question is the first step. Because when we asked the question we move the focus away from controlling another’s actions and look towards Our own Centre for the answer